Coconut Strap on
It's exactly what you think it is. It's a strap on but instead of a dildo, its just a fucking coconut.
"I was getting tired of using the football, so I had my wife get the Coconut Strap On. I couldn't feel my ass for the next three days!"
"Dude, your wife only has one buttcheek."
"Dude, your wife only has one buttcheek."