Aggressive Spooning

Aggressive spooning is just regular spooning with a firm, slightly threatening grasp on the little spoon paired with slow yet consistent humping, which can become damaging to the little spoon after prolonged exposure. Other symptoms include raw tender muscles, bleeding, burning, chafing, cramping, unexpected pregnancy, brown play, festering, itching, diarrhea, nagging, pinching, pricking, stinging, upset stomach, inflammation of various parts, swollen members, heart burn, and potential severe wounding. Should either party encounter any of the above, it may be wise to seek medical attention. Remember before you do so, it would be clever to have an alternative answer when asked how such injuries occurred. Please practice safe aggressive spooning. Try it with someone experienced.