Countess
The act of giving yourself a Stranger while wearing a large amount of jewellery on the hand in order to simulate being jerked off by a female aristocrat.
I can't wait for the jeweler to fix my bracelets to get fixed so I can give myself a Countess
The countess
The countess is a vampire in American Horror Story and she’s hot, she is portrayed by a more hotter person, Lady Gaga.
I love The Countess, she hot af.
Countess Boochie Flagrante
The alter ego responsible for anything bad you were caught doing. Originally a meme based on a Tumblr user that claimed "Eminem isn't violent, Slim Shady is," and the response "im robbing a bank tomorrow and when the cops come for me imma tell them it was my alter ego countess boochie flagrante," it is now used for any time someone tries a "that isn't really who I am" excuse.
Person: "I'm sorry about that videoed incident of me screaming racial slurs at minorities! I just want you to know, that does not represent the sort of person I am."
Everyone Else: "Yeah, sure - it wasn't you, it was your alter ego, Countess Boochie Flagrante."
Person: "I'm sorry I fucked your husband and then, when when the affair became public, spread terrible rumors about you so that I'd look like less of a homewrecker. I want you to know, that's not who I really am."
Wife: "Ah yes! You didn't tell the neighborhood I was a bipolar valium addict, it was your famous alter-ego Countess Boochie Flagrante."
Person: "I'm sorry for embezzling from that children's charity! That's not who I really am!"
Everyone Else: "Countess Boochie Flagrante strikes again!"
Everyone Else: "Yeah, sure - it wasn't you, it was your alter ego, Countess Boochie Flagrante."
Person: "I'm sorry I fucked your husband and then, when when the affair became public, spread terrible rumors about you so that I'd look like less of a homewrecker. I want you to know, that's not who I really am."
Wife: "Ah yes! You didn't tell the neighborhood I was a bipolar valium addict, it was your famous alter-ego Countess Boochie Flagrante."
Person: "I'm sorry for embezzling from that children's charity! That's not who I really am!"
Everyone Else: "Countess Boochie Flagrante strikes again!"
Countess Casavajones
also referred to simply as countess, casa is a woman that enjoys the simple things in life: churro-ing her hair, blowing kisses at strangers, collecting zoos, chess tournaments where she plays herself, being followed around with a parasol, eating salmon from the silver dish they used in the Shiba cat food commercials, talking down to people, charity work, painting the town red, and force-cuddling dink.
One time at customs, they asked Countess Casavajones for her passport. She laughed, threw boiling hot tar on them, screamed do you know who i am, and left.
dirty countess
Any sex act involving the participation of all of the following demographics: one (or more) juggalo(s), one or more furry{(s) and a weeb.
Whoop whoop, I got John here with his fursuit, come over for the Dirty Countess you big weeb.
countesse
A word that murder inc thought up to rhym with shit to be cool, but they aren't
Ja Rule is countesse
countess feona
The most amazing bossy, adventurous and encouraging black woman alive. She's a true beautiful countess
Wow!! Who's that crazy beauty? Oh that's my friend countess feona