Crack Piper
Being a Butt Wiser is the act of becoming a real wise-cracker and smart-ass through the act of smoking a glass crack pipe through your booty. You will then become known as both a pipe cracker and a crack piper, interchangeably.
"If you're begging for my root, I am afraid you'll rutabaga me booty. If you chew and swallow rutabagas, they will end up in your doodie. If you smoke a smart-ass crack pipe out of your booty, you'll be a butt wiser inside the crack piper of the mind's doodie."