Crazybass
The fastest thing in existence. Faster than light itself. It can create and destroy matter, from nothingness even, all at the same time. It was born from Denny's, inspired from the awesomeness of their french toast. It has many forms, can take on anything you throw at it, and you WILL get hit by it.
I was attacked by a giant dinosaur at the mall in the middle ages, when all of the sudden Crazybass showed up and brought me back to my own time as an elephant with a flamingo as my trunk and a flaming penis with an axe sprouting from my back.