Crew

Crew is like crack. It interferes with your sleep. It destroys your body. It introduces you to totally weird people. It's expensive. It takes you away from the real world and into a fantasy land. You start doing it way too much, as you build up a tolerance. You can't stop. You love it, but you know that you shouldn't. You stick with it, because you have this bizzare idea that life would just not be the same without it.

A bizarre cult centered around the movement of boats across water in straight lines, propelled by the mental force of anywhere from one to eight human, virgin adherents. During the winter months, its disciples rise well earlier than most sane humans for their bizzare sunrise rituals, including self-injury caused by the use of a holy relic known only as an "erg," which strangely resembles a Medieval torture rack, in honour of their victory-god, "Henley", and 18 mile pilgrimage runs to honour the river-god "Nationals", and his mate "Canadian Nationals". The sacred hymns of the Scottish musical duo "The Proclaimers" are played during these rituals.

By far one of the most misunderstood and tight-woven sports known to man. A high-school crew is usually frowned upon as a "cult", due to the immense amount of commitment and unity found amongst the rowers and Cox'ns. By attending and perticipating in regular practices, a rower will develop a well toned, muscular, "Ripped like Jesus" appearance.
Contrary to popular belief, Rowing is not just for the preppy kids. The majority, sadly enough, of crews is made up of preppy kids because of the immense costs of boats and equipment. a single oar costs approximately $250 USD. Boats range in price from $2,500USD. to $250,000+USD.
In the winter and off season, rowers use an erg (see mideval torture machine)for training. A college rower is known to exert his- or herself so far as to vomit while still erging, or even find him-/herself unable to stand.

Ironically, Crew is the only sport derived from a form of capital punishment. (see vikings)

Sport in which 1-8 people row a racing shell down a river 1500-2000 meters. Usually takes around 6 minutes to finish. Practice is run by a coach and his ever faithful coxwain. There are 2 types of shells, scullers, in which every rower has 2 oars, and standard, when each rower has 1 oar, port or starbord. During the offseason rowers practice on ergs. Rowers are also known to train as hard as some of the most physical sports there are. A common misconseption is that rowers arms are really strong, little do the public know, that rowers use mainly there legs.

one of the most physically challenging sports around, and equally misunderstood. To participate in crew, one becomes a rower or a coxswain. A rower will propell a 60 ft 8 man boat at speeds from 10 miles per hour to 15 miles per hour, for distances ranging from 2000-6000 meters. Contrary to popular belief, crew is not an upperbody sport, rowing is an intense workout for all muscles, but mainly legs. For people who partake in crew they understand just how physically and mentally challenging it is to move a boat fast, while keeping it set. And people who say it's easy obviously haven't tried it, and just assume it's easy. Most rowers are unfortunately considered preps, due to the large amount of money it takes to purchase and maintain a racing shell. It is in no way shape or form an easy sport, but if you were to ask any rower about it, you will find that despite the difficult amount of work, these people wouldn't have it any other way.

Sport of the real athletes. Rowers are INSANE. Only kids that do crew would get up in the cold, dark rainy weather to move and row boats for four hours. After moving the heavy boats we have to get into nothing but spandex and a rowing shirt on the 28 degree water with the wind hitting our backs and get yelled at by an angry short person. We spend more time with our team that our families, we have accepted the term cult.

IF CREW WAS EASY IT'D BE CALLED FOOTBALL.

Crew is the most difficult, demanding, and rewarding sport there is. People say it is not a sport because they are giant idiots and dont understand what they are talking about. Crew is for the mentally and physically tough, godlike in fact and if you are not godlike you should just stay away because you will not be able to handle the pain and end up quitting. Thats crew for ya!