crispy snizzle

The process of performing the crispy snizzle can take as long as a month if executed properly. This method of self-pleasure consists of placing a slice of uncured deli roast beef among the anal cavity over night to let the flavor marinate. The following morning, you MUST place the slice in a warm, moist environment before leaving your home to run errands. This will allow bacteria to multiply at a faster rate which will then increase the speed of the entire process. On the 25th day place the slice on a paved sidewalk exposed to the sun on a hot summer day, this will crisp an exoskeleton of mold onto the outer layer of the thin slab of roast beef. (keep in mind that if a stray dog eats the meat you must restart the entire process from step 1) when all is said and done, you may then lick the firm (crisp) mold patty while masturbating onto your significant other's jelly danish creating the "snizzle" effect. but before you release the alfredo sauce you must eat the slice.