Crotchoritis
The bizarre condition of when someone, like an actor or a singer, is on stage and (not knowing what to do with them) has their hands always drifting towards or placed at the crotch region.
Emma: I missed Bobby's solo in choir, how was it?
Jane: The singing was ok, but as far the overall performance goes, he had some seriously distracting crotchoritis!
Jane: The singing was ok, but as far the overall performance goes, he had some seriously distracting crotchoritis!