Crunchy Shirt
When you are punching the clown and forget to bring the tissues. In your state of panic before you climax, you reach for the closest thing to blow your load into, a shirt. Latter when you are out of laundry for work, the only thing you have left to wear is the shirt you shot all your sperm into and it is very crunchy.
Man, I haven't done laundry in three weeks and I had to were this crunchy shirt.