cumbernauld
A failed nuclear experiment now populated by zombies, junkies and neds. High teen birthrate and stabbing capital of the central belt combined with a stinking town centre Cumbernauld is probably the most disgusting area in Scotland. Also home to some of the worlds most formidable young teams, such as Abronhills violent “AYT” and of course their bitter rivals, the “CYF” of nearby Carbrain. Good diss tracks though.
If you fancy keeping your head on your shoulders, don’t visit Cumbernauld
Cumbernauld Sausage
A Cumbernauld Sausage is like a Cumberland Sausage, but made by an unemployed scumbag living on the streets. It is full of dirt and looks like something dumped inside the Cumbernauld Town Centre. Popular with homeless people in that area, but universally hated in other towns.
I had a Cumbernauld Sausage last night. It was disgusting!
Cumbernauld Sausage
Very much like a cumberland sausage, but only in shape. Manufactured by allowing a used tampon to become saturated in beef-gravy and then forced into a (often used also) flavoured condom. Tied at the end, it resembles any other sausage, though the taste is rather different. Very popular in Cumbernauld and the surrounding areas (Airdrie and Coatbridge) amongst the Glasgow diaspora. Does not export well. Suitable for vegetarians.
That was a lovely night of Buckfast, though my head is pounding with Alcohol withdrawal. Perhaps a Cumbernauld Sausage will cure me of these ills.