Cumbria

Cumbria is a extreme north, shire country, in the extreme north of extremeness. As many extremes as there may be in that sentence it doesn't change how there is near nothing extreme about Cumbria, but at least they have more than a Pete Doherty, from crappy Northumberland. They have William Wordsworth, Jesus, and Merlin.

Cumbria is what the people Daaan Saaaath like to call, part of Scotland. They are very wrong though, Cumbria is in fact part of England. The Cumbrians proved it. Taking many back breaking years, but it is proven, Cumbria is part of England, Northumberland on the other hand..

Cumbria, despite being one country, it is actually two countries combined into one. The First country is east Cumberland, with the shared capital placement of Carlisle, and Kendal, and don't be fooled by Kendal, all they do is make mint cake, /it's not cake/.

Then the second country is west Cumberland, that capital is normally Whitehaven. Everyone there is part of the "Sellafield Posse" To be honest they just have brain damage from all that nuclear radiation going about. Which leaves us to feel sorry for sad little Seascale.

Cumbrians have been known to speak a different language we like to call Cumbrian, or just .. Drunk babble. Whenever you visit this land of beauty and sheep, be sure to just nod and smile as they speak to you. Also, buy things from the tourist booths. So sit down, tell us how ya’ fettle is, and give us the crack on where you‘re frey.

The biggest example of why looks can be deceiveing. The Lake District is absolutely breath-takingly beautiful. With amazing moutains, hills, and lakes. But the smackheads who walk about there are far from beautiful. More along the lines of dickheads and bastards who think they're tough because they spend their time sitting at home, sticking coke up their ass while on the dole.

But hey! If you wanna buy some good cush(drugs) just ask anybody who wears outdated athletic joggers and jackets... Or just any body who wears clothing outdated in Cumbria.

A really shit county in the North West of the UK, filled with sheep, hills and a lot of chav's.

Called after someone else calls Shotgun, the Cumbria Shotgun overrides the original shotgun because if the original shotgun caller doesn't move out of your seat, you actually go on a mad shotgun killing spree. Google "Cumbria Shootings".