AIDS Birthday Cake
A situation so shitty that no matter the outcome you end up being screwed, like a birthday cake that gives you AIDS, doesn't matter what slice you take, you'll get AIDS regardless.
"This is really brutal. I don't know what I'm going to do here, either way I go I'm fucked"
"Sounds like you've been given an AIDS birthday cake".
"Sounds like you've been given an AIDS birthday cake".