damned if you do, damned if you don't
you're screwed either way.
Damned if you do, damned if you don't join the military during Vietnam. There was a war draft.
You're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't.
To be caught in a proverbial corner in which you can do or say two things, but either way the outcome is negative.
Your father wants you to take out the trash, and your mother wants you to was the dishes. If you take out the trash, your mother will be upset, and if you do the dishes, your father will be upset. You're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't.