Davidism

A religion established in 2017. It’s centered around the belief that a man named David is God and is the most awesome person on earth. He draws his power from his awesome rays and everything he says should be taken as truth. This religion is grounded in the belief that most people are born sucky and are made awesome through David.

A religion. founded in the 21st century in the name of David, our holy shit bomb.
The religion's basic principle is to live your life to the least. Despise those who are happy and despise those who are sad. In fact, the greatest believers are those who despise all.
Those who follow this religion will end up in hell.
Those who don't will end up in hell too.
Oh, and by the way, there is no hell.

A religion founded on the basic principle that David is the beginning, and David is the end. Everything is David. Through David, you will better yourself and everyone around you. Without David, you will suffer. He is the light, the darkness, and everything in between.

A man who has lost 300 dollars or more in madden;
A man who’s emotions get the best of him and he blocks people because he can’t controls his emotions

David David, also know as David squared, is a very unique specimen. He has unlimited attractiveness meaning any man, women or even animal will instantaneous fall for him. He also contains an intelligence so superior to that of humans it makes Albert Einstein look like a child. In conclusion, if you see him you become a simp.

David is the greatest man you’ll ever have the privilege to know. He is the epitome of a gentleman and he is the most charismatic person you’ll ever meet. A David has a big heart and he is very compassionate. He loves animals (especially ducks). David is sometimes shy and he is very adorable when he blushes. If you’ve found yourself a David, you better CUFF him while you can. David has many women vying for his attention but he is very very loyal. Davids have so much potential and ambition. David’s intellect is unmatched. Davids will create great lives for themselves and their families. David will make the best husband and he will never let you down. He will also make a great father and he will do anything for his children. David has the most wonderful energy that is contagious to others. He makes people smile very easily and he has the purest of souls. A David is very attractive and VERY good in bed. He will always listen to your desires and needs. A David always pleases his partners. He is a gorgeous human being. David should always be cherished and loved. David deserves the world.

David is someone who will never let you down. They empower others by simply being themselves. David is wise and kind and gives all that he can to what he believes in most. With one look, he knows what's on your heart and how to give you what you need to feel supported and loved as you process what you're feeling. David will give all of himself to his passions and goals. He gives so much of himself to others, I hope he remembers to give to himself too. His heart is a beat to keep time to. David's

very presence grounds everyone around him and reminds them why they're here. He grants you the clarity, through few and highly impactful words, to see yourself and whatever situation you're facing more clearly than you did before. David sees through the bullshit and seeks the real. He seeks the truth. There is no one I would rather have on my team than him. He brings a light to the world that cannot be found in anyone else. You'll find yourself grateful for every moment spent with him. He will light up your whole world. He will become everything you've ever looked for or sought after. It might take you a long time to see it and realize it, but when you do, you'll never be the same.