DC Red Line Steamer
Similar to The Cleveland Steamer, except you defacate bloody fecal matter onto your lover's chest and rock back and forth in it as fast at possible, impersonating the speed of a DC Metro train.
Daniel (looking in the mirror at red marks on his chest): Where did these red dots come from? (He thinks briefly then remembers). Oh. DUH! My ex gave me a DC Red Line Steamer.