defcalator
A moving stairway consisting of steps attached to a non-functioning circulating belt caused by an overabundance of human excrement.
I had to take the stairs because the BART station only had a defcalator. See San Francisco's Civic Center Station BART station problems as reported by Will Kane on Thursday, July 26, 2012 in the San Francisco Chronicle. They had to call the HazMat team!