Deliveroo and wank
The apotheosis of living for the modern middle aged family man. Netflix and chill, for husbands who have long ago abandoned both erotic frisson and euphemism.
"The wife's away, so I'm going to treat myself to a Deliveroo and wank."
"You mean..."
"Yes, a lukewarm curry followed by furious self abuse."
"You mean..."
"Yes, a lukewarm curry followed by furious self abuse."