Destructotech Ltd

They are an evil organization which is
slowly building up a huge share of all attractive females in the world.
Such females are controlled through a variety of mind-control
techniques, the ones new to facebook are merely persuaded with
subliminal messages hidden deep within the site, but this subliminal
messaging eventually compels them to allow the implantation of a more
permanent device, or rather a series of devices that work in concert to
allow complete mind control. You sir, just happen to be seen as a
threat by Destructotech, and as such they have programmed all of their
agents for hostile action against you.Facebook was the perfect channel through which to lull these targets
into complacency. People stare at facebook for hours a day with
relatively few distractions. While other social networks with noble
intent like Myspace tend to have annoying music to stop upon every page
view, blinking animated GIFs to break any trance, and general
disharmonious user experience, facebook at least attempts to avoid
these things to allow themselves complete control.

Take heart however, in that thanks to the brave freedom fighters in
this very channel of communication, word is getting out of their
crimes, and they are going to be brought to justice! Viva la Resistance!