dextroseosis
a horrid disease which causes dna to be chemically unbalanced. due to the inbalance of dna our sex cells morph into emperor penguin sex cells. the disease can cause an invasion of aqueos solution inside the brain thus causing the brain to explode within months of contracting the disease. it is said that pickles hold this disease and anything they have ever touched also holds the disease. the only known cure is bubble tea or banana chocolate milkshakes.
As i was perusing through my nick nacks i accidently contracted dextroseosis by touching an old pickle.