dial-a-sore
A dial-a-sore is similar to a dial-a-saur (or an older version of a mail order bride) only arrives with some kind of STD (Sexually Transmitted Didease) . It is a rare and endangered species whose buyers are usually risk takers and mentally retarded in some way.
Example: "She is a little older than I imagined she would be given how much she cost you, somewhat of a dial-a-sore. What are all those legions on her face?"