dialing coach
a professional "dialing coach" is a trained counselor who is paid by reticent or shy parents to have "the talk" with young adolescent males. the physicality and aesthetic of sex is central. generally speaks in language that is somehow both forthright and metaphorical.
Parent 1: I've noticed that Benny is taking longer showers recently.
Parent 2: Time to call the dialing coach!
Girl 1: What are u doing to me?!??
Benny: No worries Callie it's like my D Coach taught me - DIAL DOWN THE MIDDLE.
Parent 2: Time to call the dialing coach!
Girl 1: What are u doing to me?!??
Benny: No worries Callie it's like my D Coach taught me - DIAL DOWN THE MIDDLE.