Alabama fans

The dumbest of all rednecks, Alabama fans are notorious for worshiping a dead guy, named Bear, and cheering for the Crimson Tide(when they are winning). They claim 13 national championships, but there are actually 8. Many people wonder,"Why claim even more national championships that you didn't win, when anyone would be proud of 8?" Unfortunately, Alabama fans are unable to listen to logic or reason, so they claim 13. Surrounding civilians like to avoid Alabama fans in fear that their stupidity could be contagious. Some avid fans wear black and white-striped shirts and have somehow become referees in many SEC football games. The most obvious of these rednecks are the idiots that wear hounds-tooth hats, formerly worn by Bear, despite the ridicule from people with an IQ above 50. Most Alabama fans believe their new coach, SaBEAR, is the 2nd coming of Christ which is not acknowledged by any form of intelligent life. Their battle cry is, "ROOWL TIIED!". This highly laughed-upon cry was supposed to be translated as "roll tide", but as the redneck population increases, the phrase becomes more distorted. While the state of Alabama is infested with Alabama fans, most of the fans cannot locate Tuscaloosa on a map, and have never been inside the university due to or because of the 5 they made on the ACT. Don't worry though, my friend, they find all of their Alabama apparel at Walmart. You can commonly find Alabama fans flipping patties at McDonald's or in prisons anywhere in the South.

Alabama Fans are the most spirited people you will meet. You will mostly likely always find them dressed in houndstooth and yelling ROLL TIDE. They support the fantastic football team and know all the words to "Yea Alabama". They know that in the fourth quarter you put up four fingers and wait for the band to play Basket Case. They have every cheer memorized.