Dirty Conquistador
The goatee that forms on one's chin from eating out a stubbly vagina over a child's toilet with no water in it while the girl is having explosive diarrhea. The poop is black from drinking an entire bottle of Pepto and poo and gas are expelled so forcefully that they splash up onto the man's chin.
As the diarrhea fumes billowed up from betwixt his maiden's legs, he began to feel a dirty conquistador forming on his chin.