Alaskan ditch

Where one defecates, puts the feces into a condom and proceeds to freeze it. After some time, one grabs said feces and proceeds to insert it onto a door handle, thus removing the condom to ensure the individual pursing the act is completely free of feces. After that, a blowtorch is required to thaw out the feces so that when an individual instinctively grabs the door handle, their hand is covered in dirty shit