Alaskan McGuyver

The Alaskan McGuyver is when a man living in cold regions finds it difficult to jack off because his fingers have turned into icicles. He proceeds to put his bottle of lubricant of choice into the microwave at 100 percent power for 45 seconds to achieve a comfortable heat level and consistency for his subsequent jerk off sesh to Eskimo porn.

Always remember it's 0:45 not 4:50 on the timer and microwave cooking times may vary.