Alaskan Shit Knocker
A very small man that walks around on all fours with a 20 inch strap on attached to his belt because he is insecure about his own penis size. He tends to run around searching for people shitting in public restrooms. When he finds his victims he jumps over the bathroom stall onto their feet to then catapults them across the restroom. He then digs into his volumptuous new meal. He usually let's out a screech to warn his victims he's coming. When he approaches the poor souls he takes the shit from the toilet bowl and forces them to eat it. He then gives his schlong a swirly wirly in the shit water. After that he continues to slap his victim across the face with his schlong and then runs out into public on all fours making grunting noises while vigorously shitting everywhere.
"Woah! Do you see Tom!? He's on all fours again. Better run before he gives you an Alaskan Shit Knocker."