D MONSTER

A dwarfed human who catches a new terminal disease every couple of days and therefore seeing a D Monster on a school premise is rarer than sighting a wild Tasmanian tiger. He also has a very primal vocabulary most commonly consisting of a few aphorisms. For example, "You win some you lose some" and "it is what it is," although it is sometimes difficult to identify these phrases due to the D Monster's debilitating lisp. "Something in the wayyyy".