Doggy Cloggy
First order your dog an indian curry and it must be take away, then as it is eating super glue its asshole shut. Wait exactly 1 day then open it back up using a drill or super glue remover. Then take your dog outside and collect its runny shit with the take away box that the curry came in. Then you can put some turmeric or cumin in the shit to make it smell like curry. Then proceed to give the box to a homeless person and make it look like an act of kindness.
wife: "Honey theres another homeless guy outside again"
husband: " ok, ill give him the good ol' doggy cloggy"
husband: " ok, ill give him the good ol' doggy cloggy"