Double Douche Canoe
Someone who is up shits creek with a turd for a paddle yet takes no responsibility for their situation and find the need to blame everyone else for their predicament.
You're a real double douche canoe.
Double Canoe
When a lady rides your face whilst another lady rides your penis, they are going down the river on a double canoe. Paddles can also be used.
"Hey Becky, last night Anna and I rode the double canoe with Steve!"