doug

"I gave your sister her first douging yesterday and now she won't stop calling me."

"This girl I was with last night was so loose I had to double doug her just to get her off..."

Doug in a box! Lonely Island

Ryan: ...So then I was like "Oh yeah? Well Collin's head is like a beach ball!"
Zac: Doug

1.
the weirdest boy you'll ever meet, yet you can't seem to get them our of your head.
even when you ARE talking to them, you miss them, and you think about them constantly
basically the only boy that can make you cry, but the only one that really knows how to make you genuinely smile, at the same time
the one that you can say the stupidest thing to without feeling stupid
the one with no awkward silences
you fight constantly, but it always works itself out
when friends never have to ask what boy you are currently smitten with, because it will always be the same
when your biggest fear is losing said doug, whether by death or by having a large falling out
you have embarassing nicknames for each other
you play question games and end up answering the questions you ask..
you know each other so well, to the point that you don't know each other at all (or so you say)
you try to distract yourself with other people but always end up running back to this person
you probably hate(or they hate you) part of his family, such as a sibling
your friends tell you that you light up when talking about said person
your dad(or mom) tell you that they look like various cartoon characters i.e. hercules or flick(a bug's life)
they seem to be nice to everyone BUT you (you're the receiving end of many breakdowns and/or screamfests/insults)
they are also completely closed up to anyone but you. mysterious
your friends end up hating them because it's so confusing, unless they have a doug themself
multiple hour phone conversations? it's normal. until it randomly stops.. and then starts back up again.. at various times during the year
your parents get angry only when you talk to this person, because they think they're losing their little girl
you get mad when they tell you they love you, because you can't stand to hear a lie and won't believe it isn't a lie until they prove it to you in some way, shape, or form
you threaten each other with death/rocks/carving names into their arm..and you get confused when people give you weird looks when talking about it..
you tell stories about the person thinking they are completely exciting..but really it just aggravates the person you're telling because it is SO dull
kids around school, work, etc. know you as the girl who likes (insert name here)..and even people you've never talked to before ask about the person's well being
you can't say a word about them to about 95% of your friends because they get so aggravated, and the 5% that will listen either have their own doug, or just zone out so much that they don't realize what you're telling them
no matter what you try to tell people, this person will ALWAYS be your doug.. even if you deny it.

2.
The boy that you will always feel something for. The stares are normal, and the smiles are somewhat a present. The "I love you" needs to be proven, the conversations need to be jazzed up, and the time needs to be longer. You'll always figure it out somehow. You may fight or disagree constantly or have mixed feelings, yet it works out either way. The feelings move further along even if all that has been given is nothing than a peck on the cheek. You'll never forget the old times together in the sun. This type of Doug, will always be in some part of you.
He is moody and quiet but has the times where you just want to explode from all of their energy. These are the times you love them best. You can say and do mostly whatever you'd like to and they'll join along. This type of Doug is also known to change their wardrobe for your liking. Whether it be from sweatpants to jeans, dirty shirts to clean ones, or t-shirts to polo’s. This type might be known to having a high-pitched voice but to you, anything is good coming from them. They’ll never quite entirely share their feelings for you and it’s frustrating, but you just have to get used to it.
This type of Doug is not talked to many people about. Usually just the one person that you can obviously trust with information and advice. The Doug always goes to them also and shares some of their feelings that they have about you. You might find out all or nothing about the topics that they discuss. You learn to live with it. You have to. This Doug, can drive you insane, yet, you’ll always love them.

The doctor said no more skinny jeans and speedos for me. If I want to be a father some day, I gotta let my doug fly free.
This new bicycle seat is jamming my doug!

my friend: wow i just saw rhe most beautiful horse ever!
me: that musve been a doug

Doug: Oh, wait, Peter, did you order wheat toast?
Peter: Yeah...
Doug: Oh, I guess I ate your food.
Everyone else: Peter, you been DOUGGED!