Dress the Throne
Using specific lengths of toilet paper to lay on the toilet seat, so as to keep your naked butt from contacting the germ-ridden and disgusting, bare toilet seat.
I have to dress the throne before I sit down and shit because I don’t want dirty butt-cheeks.
I was dressing the throne thoroughly because the toilet seat had pee and shit stains all over it.
I was dressing the throne thoroughly because the toilet seat had pee and shit stains all over it.