Dronfield

A small town north of Chesterfield and south of Sheffield, most people in this small town are inbred, mums and dads were related long before marriage.

For such a small town it also has a high percentage of closet homosexuals, particularly in the woodhouse area.I Suspect a lot of the closets move here because the pub known locally as "The Jolly Farmer", the name really does do it justice, it holds gay nights but all are welcome so the closets can bring their inbred families and look without touching. If you want to touch ask around the town centre for a guy called GAY A, he is inbred and well known.

The home office advice to non-residents is to take extreme care if you drop something. It’s recommended that you leave it unless you have someone watching your back. If you have no one to watch your back and the item is of such value that the inevitable consequences are acceptable it is recommended that you clench your buttocks with sufficient force to crush a brick, you have been warned.

A sex technique involving two men, three women and an indeterminite number of geese. The protagonist repeatedly rams his fists up the anus and urethra of one of the female participants, while the others prance around them in jester's garb, making witty repartee, clicking their fingers, occasionally coughing. As the female begins to rupture, the second male begins inserting live geese up the lead's anus (a feat requiring some dexterity and strength) while quoting from the Tibetan Book of the Dead. Once the death of both leads has been confirmed, those remain continue as per a regular Celine Dion.

Can be done with ducks instead of geese in which case it is known as a Clitheroe cheesegrater.