Due-Wested

To be drunk and high beyond possibility. To become this fucked up, you have to start before the sun goes down, and you need a White Owl and a couple of Black and Mild cigarellos. Always smoke and THEN drink. Side effects include:

1. Rapping to no music.
2. Hallucination of lesbian fornication.
3. Phone calls to the wrong people.
4. Possible loss of $20.
5. Ripping the button off your pants while trying to pee.
6. Swamp Ass
7. Lacrosse stick up your ass.
8. Rocking back and forth at the kitchen table, spitting all over the place.

NOTE: IF YOU PLAN ON BECOMING DUE-WESTED, HAVE SOMEONE HIDE YOUR MONEY AND PHONE FROM YOU. YOUR FRIEND MIGHT BE A HORRIBLE BABYSITTER!