Eat My Shorts, man

My good human being of which you have an x chromosome which defines your gender as “male,” I am making a suggestion to you, which considers that you remove my leg garments that are shorter than most for the reason of weather being too hot for clothing that covers the entirety of my legs, and once that task is completed you will take these leg garments that you have removed from my person, and begin to insert them into your mouth, henceforth you will begin the “eating” process, which consists of chewing the leg wear until it is broken down to the point where it is ready to be swallowed, where it will travel into the stomach, and be digested, causing its disintegration from gastronomic acids.