Edgar Allan Poe

The greatest writer/poet ever known to exist. Also the father of the modern-day mystery story. Sure, he was a depressed, obsessive, mentally ill drug addict and alcoholic, but hey - he wrote some damn good poems!

A sexual act in which one masturbates or has sex within full earshot and/or line of sight of another person who is assumed to be sleeping, but is actually fully awake. The victim of the Edgar Allan Poe is then "buried alive" as they are forced to listen to the entire sexual act while pretending that they are still asleep, and then forced to silently bear the often traumatic memory of the sexual act and can never mention it to the perpetrator(s). The Edgar Allan Poe is usually unintentional, but can be done intentionally as well. Can be used as a verb (Edgar Allan Poeing someone), an adjective (getting Edgar Allen Poed), or a noun (giving them an Edgar Allan Poe).

Named for Edgar Allan Poe due to his fascination with being buried alive that is widely featured in his works, which may have in fact been induced by being Edgar Allan Poe'd by his parents growing up.

one of the greatest poetic geniuses in history that married his cousin

An american writer that is arguable the best poet in the history of the world. He also had the shittiest childhood ever. His mom got married when she was 16, when he was born his dad left him. His mom was an actor and played Juliet in Romeo and Juliet 8 times a week. Edgar watched his mother "fake" kill herself when he was 1, 2, and 3. His mother then died of consumption, and he watched her die. He then was adopted by a nice lady and a dick father. He actually fell in love with the lady, so the dad got jealous. Then that lady died of consumption, and the asshole father kicked edgar on the street. He then went to college and was a raging alcoholic and drug user. His birth-right aunt then found him and adopted him. He fell in love with his 10 and a half year old first cousin. Then his aunt died of consumption. So he married his first cousin, then became famous for his poem "The Raven". Then his young wife also died of consumption. However, he later became famous and was invited to write for a New York fat cat and earn lots of money. On the train there he stopped in Baltimore. Two guys grabbed him and got him drink off of hard lemonade, and they left him in the gutter while he was in a coma. He went to the hospital and died. Now if anyone does not agree that he had the shittiest life, you must be one sorry son of a bitch.

One of Lance Armstrong's nicknames for performance-enhancing drug erythropoietin (EPO), created as a sort of partial acronym: (E)dgar Allan (Po)e. (10/10/2013 Colbert Report: Reed Albergotti & Vanessa O'Connell)

An extremely depressed man that wrote stories about murder and death. Everyone that he ever loved died of Tuberculosis. He finally got so desperate that he married his 13 year old cousin. Probably was a serial killer, but nobody wanted to arrest him because they were too afraid that he would give them tuberculosis. Obsessed with a Raven and carries it around all the time like a little creep.

A simple question into determining if someone is an ignorant fob and who should get the fuck out of America