A logan

A delusional visionary whose movements are being monitored by drones and he can prove it. An “innocent” perpetrator of lies and deceit with scabies on his arms and fungus on his feet. A self centered meth head who lost all he had and could have had it made...if he wasn’t so sped.

It is an incomprehensible entity. It cannot be stopped. If you see it, you have already died. You cannot bargain, you cannot run, you cannot hide. It is always approaching

Illegal

he has a absolute shlong dong and will rail you sister

Big booty

Tall

Can’t tell if your blonde or brunette

Stupid

Can be smart

Smashes head

Definitely has a “9 inch peepee”
Complains

Needs to get a gf

So there's this guy named Logan, and he's really cool. He does strange things, like eat small children, but he's also really nice and a great friend. He may be the destroyer of universes, but his son Emerson, the destroyer of world's, still loves him. Logan is one of the best guys you'll ever meet and make sure to never insult him, because he will break your kneecaps with a blunt object.

A good guy to be around. Usually shy at first but nice in general. He is smart, creative and can lack common sense sometimes. The best guy to hang around.