Evil Masturbating
When you have a skin affliction (see, e.g. poison ivy, poison oak, eczema, psoriasis, etc) that makes you itchy but you know you aren’t supposed to scratch it because it’ll only make it worse. An itch you literally cant scratch.
Person 1: Oh no I was out yesterday and got poison ivy and now I’m all itchy.
Person 2: No evil masturbating !
Person 2: No evil masturbating !