faggorectumy

A recently new surgical procedure popularized by the spreading AIDS epidemic whereby the urethra is redirected into the anal canal while the opening in the head of the penis is surgically closed. This procedure allows the recipient to practice both hetero and homosexual safe sex without the burden of using a condom. All bodily functions of urination, defecation and ejaculation are passed through the anus with the added benefit of prelubrification of the anal cavity in preparation of anal sex. This prelubrification is accomplished by simple masturbation. Upon successful masturbation, the anal cavity is filled with a soothing seminal secretion which aids in easy penetration for the sexual partner or object. This procedure is covered by most health plans available in the greater San Francisco Bay Area and is encouraged by most city and county officials.