Fakin' Bacon
"Fakin' Bacon" is an addendum to the Palma Sutra, the ancient vedic discourse on self-pleasure. Fakin' Bacon is when you conceal you stalk under a truffle cap and flirt with foraging swine.
Mama: "Cletus, where you been that you's all buggered up 'n' dirty?"
Cletus: "I done been Fakin' Bacon agin Mama!"
Cletus: "I done been Fakin' Bacon agin Mama!"