Faux Wash and Dry
The act of walking out of a bathroom at work holding a paper towel as if you actually washed your hands after doing your business there. Designed to avoid the looks and comments of people who may be in the hall at the time you are exiting.
"Dude I never really wash my hands after pissin' at home because i am clean and all but at work I have to faux wash and dry my hands to avoid the jeers of all the pretentious a-holes I work with who might see me coming out of the shitter.