fecal hair

A "hipster" beard. Scientific evidence has proven that large quantities of fecal matter "shit" lives in the highly groom facial hair of so-called "hipsters". The massive amount of shit particles in said fecal hair is a direct result of "male" hipsters constantly touching their bearded faces with unclean hands. It is also a known fact that "hipsters" are too "cool" to wash their hands after taking a dump, or after peeing, as they always feel the need to sit when they go to the bathroom, like the pussies they strive to be. A secondary cause for large quantities of shit or Butt Nuggets embedded within their fecal hair, is the fact that most hipsters will suck an occasional cock, therefore their beards come (no pun intended) in direct contact with the anus of the suckee.