Fijian

Fijians - Hospitable but in great need for procrastination gene extraction. The warmth they shower you with when you reach their shores is genuine. They are unrivaled in terms of their smiles but behind this lurks grand-daddies who were still cannibals just 200 years ago so don't push it with them - especially when on a boat. They can be crushingly sweet if you impress them with your manners but watch out for prolonged but gentle shaking: they are pissed off my friend. There is only one thing that paralyses them to the point of non-function: farting out loud in church: they must not be seen 'laughing' in church. Rugby is a national passion, the players are also passionately linked to Tyson's tendency to bite ears. Without any sense of time, to meet them at 2pm, one must suggest a midday meeting time unless you like waiting for two hours and then NOT get an explanation: c'est normal: this is called 'fiji time'. Being former British subjects, their laws are still penal, you can still be charged with sodomy but a crowd favourite/drawer is the smattering of gay shows all year around. Do not ask for directions, there is a national response: over there. Do not be offended by the questions: it is a national obsession. They will speak correct english if they have to otherwise, one needs to listen well to get the general drift of the fij-lish. (Eg provided)

There are 2 definitions of a Fijian:
1. Fijian (Kai Viti)- Native or indigenoius to the country that are very similar to polynesians not completly because they have melanesian desecnt known as ferocious cannibals before the missonarys arrived but now they are very calm nice and hospitable people majority are christians. They like to live the simple care free way always stay in the village and collect land money from the Kai indias. They are in control of the Military, Police Force,Land.
2. Indo- Fijian (Kai India)- Brought to the Islands as indentured labourers by the British from India but never left. Business type people virtually the backbone of the Fijian economy.Compared to native Fijians they are VERY smart. Without them Fiji would still be living tribal ways most of them have migrated out of the country during one of the coups either 1987 or 2000 not so sure about 2006 coup but many still remain in the islands. They are in control of the Business,Banks,Economy.

A sexy, charismatic friendly human being.

an indigenous people of Fiji

The act of using a tazer while in bed so that your partner flops around like a fish out of water, sort of like an electrically assisted donkey punch.

When you match how loud your roommates are having sex in hopes of mutually concealing the evidence.

To perform a Fijian Lava Lamp with your good lady, you will need:

A large carton of Pineapple juice (with bits), a bottle of hot sauce, a Bounty bar and a funnel. Get her to hop on all fours and raise that ass right up in the air. Pop in the funnel and deliver a soothing pineapple enema. Plug her with the bounty bar. Now, shag her vigorously from behind and when approaching peak, whip out the bounty and squeeze in a generous serving of fiery hot chilli sauce. As her burn builds and you shoot your wad, lower your head over her bubbling pineappley ringer and prepare for a cataclysmic volcanic ass eruption right in your boat race - a la, a Fijian Lava Lamp.

NB. Should you not wish to take the full eruption facially, when expunged into a large Martina glass, a Fijian Lava Lamp makes a fabulous pre-dinner cocktail.