Flangebergasted
(verb) informal, past tense
An unexpected and astonishing accomplishment, that is worthy of bemusing not only oneself but also the almighty lord, where upon one man of baldness performed a fully consensual and enlightened sexual deviancy experience, that shall be locked away forever in the impenetrable safe box wank bank, with the fitty bitty blondie barmaid half his age from the boozer two doors down.
An unexpected and astonishing accomplishment, that is worthy of bemusing not only oneself but also the almighty lord, where upon one man of baldness performed a fully consensual and enlightened sexual deviancy experience, that shall be locked away forever in the impenetrable safe box wank bank, with the fitty bitty blondie barmaid half his age from the boozer two doors down.
"Was so drunk last night that t'assistant manager from t’local pub had to carry mi 'ome, as she wo puttin' mi to bed I puked on her tits so she removed her top, took that as a sign she wo 'orny, so I says "Here love, part thisens legs so's I can tickle tha's pickle", she encouragingly obliged, one thing led to t'other and and I fully ferreted her furrow wit t'old mangle wurzel f't next 'our 'n 'alf... Never bin so flangebergasted in 'ole mi life!”