Hamish Monie
Some bum who is similar to a leaf as he is 0.00001 grams heavy. He gets absolutely no bitches (-50 estimated) and his parents like to belt the shit out of him. He doesn't like to go out on a windy day because he will get blown away, that's why he can't get a haircut.
That guy is such a bum his name is probably Hamish Monie