hamsterspan
The approximate lifespan of the average hamster--roughly 18 months.
DUDE: "So you're committed to {boyfriend} for 18 months?"
LADY: "Oh HELL no man, you know I have a thing abt commitment! That's...that's a HAMSTERSPAN!"
LADY: "Oh HELL no man, you know I have a thing abt commitment! That's...that's a HAMSTERSPAN!"