Holland, Texas

Holland, Texas is a small town about 15-20 miles south of Temple, Texas; which is located about 50 miles north of Austin. Holland is the epitome of sleaze and mental retardation. There are two gas stations in Holland, both of which have employees who will never hesitate to make fun of you if you're from somewhere other than Holland. Their education system is pure shit. But on the bright side, if your child is lazy, unmotivated, and doesn't care about a halfway decent life, then by all means, send them to school in Holland.

The entire town is a speed trap. You will be pulled over for going only one mile over the speed limit. And don't expect only a warning, either. The cop is paid on commission.

The people of Holland cannot drive, either. So should you ever have the displeasure of driving through their town, do not be surprised when someone begins tailgating you, flashing their brights, and giving you the finger nonstop. It never occurs to them to pass you.