lazy wingman
It's when a guy takes 2 Tylenol PMs, sits on his hand until it goes numb and tries to finish masturbating before he falls asleep.
Ed: What did you do last night?
Rick: I attempted the lazy wingman.
Ed: And?
Rick: I didn't make it.
Ed: Bummer, condolence five.
Rick: I attempted the lazy wingman.
Ed: And?
Rick: I didn't make it.
Ed: Bummer, condolence five.