Noob's Opening

A chess opening using by noobs/newbs etc who think they know how to play the game, but actually lack the fundemental understanding and intelligence necessary for chess. The opening consists of:

1. e4 e5
2. Qh5 ...

At which poing if White is allowed to take the Black e5 pawn with the Q it is a very strong position for him, especially as it comes with Check. This is known as the Noob Opening position. However, Black simply plays:

...Nc6

to guard the pawn. The typical noob will then play:

3. Bc4

With a threat of check mate with Qxf7. However, Black then plays:

...g6

After which the noob will play:

4. Qf3

This is the Uber-Noob's Opening position. After Black's next move of:

...Nf6

White's "attack" is over and Black has an enormous lead in development.

So in summary, the noob believes he is going to get a fast check-mate with Qxf7, but any black player worth their while will quicky avoid this and gain an enormous lead in piece development and in most cases will force the White Q all the way back to its starting square: hence a complete waste of time.