Peter Pachak-Robie

It is a particularly interesting trait of history that with the dawn of every new century there seems to arise a true visionary, a man who alters the very basis of human thought and understanding for centuries to come. Galileo, Shakespeare, Einstein, Jesus, Plato: all men whose sage words outlasted their own lifetimes and shall undeniably outlast ours, stretching into the unknown future. Peter Russell Pachak-Robie is one of these rare men. The words uttered from his mouth in our time shall undoubtedly reach our children, our children's children, our children's children's children, and even perhaps our children's children's children's children. With simple catchphrases such as the ever-scholarly “Fuck Shit Up,” Mr. Pachak-Robie shall undoubtedly define the coming century. His complex philosophical questions force us to question the intricacies of existing social practices and institutions: “Did you ever wish you could put two hot dogs in one bun?” No man before him has so bravely challenged the powerful wiener dog establishment, and perhaps no man is prepared to do so again. Similarly, no man could argue with such advice as “Suck my memory stick!” (although I hesitate to condemn any woman who refuses). Listen and obey, O Children of the Millennium, for Peter Pachak-Robie will lead you to greatness.