Phinious

This is a *black* male. He is so black that he blends in with the night. He looks like under the bed. He is darker than black paint. When he smiles, you can only see his teeth because his gums blend in. He is so black that bleach made him darker. He is darker than Robert Mugabe and Michael Blackson combined. When there is no light, you can see his figure because it is much darker than the surrounding. He is so black that he makes the devil look like a force of light and goodness. He is so black that when God said let there be light, the darkness couldn't light him up. He is so black, he made a blackhole to be renamed to a purple hole. He is so black that he makes charcoal look like a star. He is so black that he looks like charcoal when he is near a fire. He is so black that there is no difference between him having bathed and not having bathed.
Despite his blackness, he gets all the girls. Hide your girls from him. He is the definition of a man hoe. He is also a pretty smart guy. He has unspoken rizz and if you see him talking to a hot girl, just know he has at least 6 more wrapped around his finger.
He is such a stud and so comfortable about his manhood that he acts excessively and concerningly gay.
To summarize, he is a smart, black, straight despite seemingly gay, promiscuous male.